Are My Choices Even Rational?
by BreanaRenee'3
Summary: Bella has a moment where she thinks about why she loves Edward. She tries to convince herself that she loves him, well because he... Wait, why does she love him? Is it his eyes? His hair? Maybe even his smile? Nah, that cant be it. Sure he's saved her a couple times but most of those times the trouble was because of him. Will someone be able to convince her there is no sane reason?
1. Chapter 1

What is wrong with me? Am I entirely stupid, or have I hit my head? Maybe I'm on drugs.

My mind is in a solemn place right now and I am able to think freely. One question that I have barely ever asked myself seemed to hammer at my skull.

Why do I love Edward Cullen?

Well, he has nice eyes, great hair, and smooth skin. He has a voice like velvet, which could melt any teenager's heart, even when in a spiraling pit of self loathing.

Yes, he does have unusually beautiful eyes, but I can't be obsessed with eyes, can I? Of course not; that's just absurd.

His hair I could run my fingers through all day. I'm sure he would let me if it wasn't for the venom in his mouth. I bet he would lose his cool. I know I love how it feels when someone plays with my hair. That's why I don't like people touching it.

Wow, I'm getting _way_ off track.

Anyway, why do I love Edward?

_He's saved me more than once._ My mind had instantly yelled that at me. I sighed.

Yes, but why did I need saving in the first place? If I hadn't been staring at Edward in the parking lot, I would not have almost gotten hit.

If I had not been convinced by Edward to play baseball with his family, James would not have been any trouble.

Of course, any sane person would have already dumped him and spilled the secret.

I must be crazy. I guess that's why I'm still with him.

I'm Bella Swan, nice to meet you.

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ! **

**So, this is the prologue to my new story. If most of you have seen my first story – I wouldn't have even thought – then you should know that I'm taking a ****SHORT**** break from it. I just cannot work out Chapter 16. **

**This was just something that popped into my head this morning. I have very little idea and have no clue where I'm going with this.**

**I guess I'll just go with the flow, so it's labeled as a Bella/…. Right now.**

**REVIEW IF YOU THINK I SHOULD CREATE THE FIRST CHAPTER. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter one: **

I sat out on the steps of Jacob's house in La Push. I was relieved that he was finally fully healed. The guilt had become lighter. I still feel as if it was my fault he got hurt.

Too bad the fault was all his.

It was one of those unusually warm days again and the Cullens had gone hunting. I missed the sunlight. I want to go to a place where it was sunny all the time but I know the Cullens can't. Forks is comfortable, though the lack of sunlight depressed my pale skin.

Jacob was beside me and he was laughing very loudly at something Embry and Quil had done. I groaned.

I was enjoying my silence. I wanted to leave and go home where I knew it would be quiet, but I promised Jacob I would spend the day with him.

I didn't know that when I agreed, I had signed up for a day full of rambunctious, hormonal, teenage boys.

Don't get me wrong, I love the guys, but it was times like this when I despised their mouths having the ability to open and close.

I looked at what they were doing and rolled my eyes. I guess they were (what they would consider) wrestling or play fighting but if I was thrown in there, I would probably end up with a concussion.

Ah, the joys of werewolf best friends.

What if my life were a movie? My closest friends would howl at the full moon, and my boyfriend and his family would be wearing capes and…

My thoughts were cut off by a dark hand waving in front of my face.

"Off in space again?" Jacob asked. I nodded and rested my head against his warm shoulder. I was getting a headache from the noise and thinking at the same time.

"Want to get something to eat?" I asked. At the sound of the word eat, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum stopped what they were doing and Quil whipped out his cell phone.

"I'll order pizza."

I heard Jacob place the order and I wrinkled my nose when he said four large meat lovers.

I _always _pick everything off when I eat meat lover's pizza. I prefer cheese. Did he forget about me or something? He could have at least asked what kind of pizza I like. Jerk.

I wasn't about to blow up over pizza, so I just let it go and announced that I wasn't paying.

Quil and Embry quickly followed me by declaring "Not I!" before Jacob.

We were still outside when the delivery person came.

She was a short blonde, though she was very pretty, she seemed shy. I could tell she was totally checking out Jacob when he got out his wallet and wasn't looking at her. I did my best not to scoff and laugh.

Jacob purposely paid her a little more than the pizza actually did cost and said "keep the change" she smiled and blushed when he winked at her.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him pointedly when he returned to us with the pizza. He just shrugged.

I guess Jacob was slowly getting over the fact that we could only ever be friends. He knew that we had a limited amount of time, and he wanted to spend almost every living second with me. Edward was okay with this. He knew how hard it would be my first few years.

The pack could become public enemy number one.

Of course Jacob had gotten a box to himself, Quil and Embry also had their own. The other one was for me and Billy when he got home.

We sat in the garage enjoying our pizza with warm sodas. I was about to take a bite of mine when I noticed there was a piece of sausage I hadn't picked out.

"What are you doing?" Embry asked while chewing his food.

"That's gross, and what does it look like I'm doing?"

"So you're not going to eat that?"

"No, I hate meat lover's pizza. No one asked me what kind I wanted so…"

I glared at Jacob. He smirked.

"I know you hate a meat lover, that's the reason I ordered it in the first place." I looked at him confused. He explained.

"Well, I knew you'd take them off so that I could do this." He picked all of the sausage and pepperoni out of my pile with his greasy fingers.

"You're so manipulative," I said also thinking about how well enough he knew me to be able to plan this. "Was this your plan all along?"

"Indeed it was."

"I always knew you were smarter than you made me think."

"So are saying that you thought I was stupid?"

I smirked at our teasing. "In a way..."

Jacob scoffed. "I think I've just been insulted."

…

**It's short but it's another taste of this story! I don't want Jacob and Bella's relationship going so fast so I'm trying to plot it out and it will also start as an Edward/Bella. I hope you're interested. **

**I've been quite busy the last few days haha feel free to follow me on twitter I might have some random tweets about my fanfiction. (It's a 1D fan account but I've tweeted some stuff linking to this before) aZaynGirl . **

**Tell me what you think of this story so far and if I should continue. lol I'm only 13 so slack with the bad critique if any? **


	3. Chapter 3

If you got an email saying that AMCER got updated, I'm sorry I had to take it down. I rushed trying to put it up because Im doing homework and I don't need to be distracted (I HAVE THREE WRITING PROMPTS DUE MONDAY aka tomorrow) but I updated the wrong story haha.

But if youre interested in reading something new im working on then go see my story I wouldn't have even thought(edited) . it's a more edited version of my very first story and I just updated it.

Sorry if theres any confusion and I know theres a lot of errors in this but I have to hurry. I suck at writing prompts because they take me forever to complete and I hate having a main focus point so the more I talk to you guys, the more im procrastinating. (i really sound like the 13 year old i am now, huh?)

im also going to delete this later to put up the real chapter.

see you later lovies. 3


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